24.07.03 - 7:19 PM
I can watch you grow through the hair falling in my eyes. I hide behind you while you ask for cigarettes and lighters and lovers, I hide behind you while you grow.
I want to stay the same, I think, it hasn't been long enough to change yet. I haven't been me long enough to let myself go.
Then I realize I hold on to me because I hold on to you, you are a pole and life is a hurricane and in order to live, I think, I need you. I am you, you are me, we are one. Were one. These past tenses are arguous but I never want to give in. Everything is present or future, happening or about to happen, I will never let the past drift away. I am going to lace my fingers around it and bring it in front of me, I will never lose sight, I will never lose sight, I will never lose sight because I am already blind.
You are the alleyway where I beg for change, the way that the pavement is cold and the bricks are rough. You are what keeps me on my toes, always expectant, always unafraid. Were. Were. Were.
Sometimes I think of past tenses as just the past, and I think that I am not fighting with words, I am fighting with an entire portion of my life to stay in front of me. To be a song that I know all too well, every lyric imprinted in my mind, no more surprises, no more fear, you cannot fear what you already know.
I know you.
