Thursday, May. 08, 2003 - 8:35 p.m.
I am not a girl of a thousand faces , a thousand words , a thousand names . I am not a revolution , I am not evolution , I am indifferent in that I am just an imprint of the people I know and have known , the things I have done and have had done to me .
I am not beautiful , nor am I articulate . I don't over use my punctuation as an attempt to mask my words , and I don't hate the world . There is no ridiculous angst because someone whom I found attractive didn't return the feeling .
Maybe I'm TYPICAL maybe I'm CRAZY maybe I'm nothing special at all . But I'd rather be nothing special than a fake something . I'd rather love who it is I am than get glory points off of hating myself .
Maybe all I want to do with my life is write and sing , travel and never sleep in the same bed twice , meet new people and share a love that you can only have for one night before it burns out . Settle down in a flat with white walls and floors , bold furniture from European stores with catalog names we don't understand .
Maybe all I want to do is get away from here . It's not about glory , it's not about fame , it's not about falling in love with a scene kid from an obscure state with chuck taylors on his feet . Maybe I'm selfish because I'm living for myself , not for my country , not for my peers , not for the sake of anyone but myself .
All I know is that in the end , it is going to come down to me . All I know is that all I want when I am ready to die alone , is that I want to realize I have done all the things I have wanted to do .
So I will lash out and call you names , I will tell you what I think , I will sing , I will dance , I will skank at shows with a sweaty girl smoking marijuana . I will protect myself however need be and I will not stand down .
I am woman ? Myself .
